Popular Articles

Find out what makes my relationship tick – or tick off

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Click an icon above to share, email, or save this article

Rebecca Eckler and boyfriend Neil Bass note each other's kvetches, and depending on the day, can be idiosyncratic, or truly annoying | Photo: Courtesy

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Click an icon above to share, email, or save this article

I stopped Googling my name, years ago. I didn’t want to know what people thought about me. Until this week. 

When I typed my name into Google, a list popped up of the most common searches, relating to my name. It turns out a lot of people are incredibly interested in my relationship status. People searched, “Rebecca Eckler husband,” “Rebecca Eckler Boyfriend,” “Rebecca Eckler Marriage.” That list includes the name of my boyfriend too! (Meh, Google it later!)

Pre-COVID, thanks to my guy being an active member in the Jewish community, professionally and personally, along with people who have followed my writing, social media, and my advocacy for injustices, at least someone in the Jewish community would recognize one of us.

I love people kvelling over photos I post, cheering on our relationship. (Thank you!)

We’ve been together for more than two years, yet I feel no urge to live together. Plus he snores (kvetch!). 

My friends are kvetching about their partners, after spending so much forced time together. “I can hear him breathing! I want to kill him!” Another? “He was eating an apple. I had to leave the room!” So I feel sort of blessed we don’t live together.

Get thej.ca a Pro Israel Voice by Email. Never miss a top story that effects you, your family & your community

Since people want to know about our relationship, I thought it would be fun to share three kvells about him, and three kvetches about him. I gave him the same opportunity (even though I’m pretty damn perfect, and am always right, even when I’m wrong!) 

A kvetch, first! He paces. All. The. Time. He’ll just get up, and start pacing. If he’s on a call, he paces back and forth. I want to tell him to sit the f**k down because his pacing is distracting and annoying.

My second kvetch is that he’s an “interrupter.” Perhaps this is because he’s a litigator, but I can’t tell you the number of times I’m talking, and he’ll interrupt, talking about a totally different topic.

I have said, “I only had three more words left in my sentence, before you interrupted!”

Rebecca and Neil sharing a moment | Photo: Courtesy

My final kvetch is when he’s overwhelmed with work, he uses his “stress work” voice with me. I’ll end our chat with an, “I love you!” He’ll respond with a curt, “Okay. Thanks. Bye. Bye,” forgetting I’m not a client.

Now my kvells about my guy, who has so impressed my dad, that he threatened to kill me if I didn’t make this relationship work. I think he was joking, but let’s just say, I can be a handful. I call it being independent, speaking truths, fighting fire with fire, but whatever.

First, my guy kvells about his kids, so fondly, proudly, and lovingly, he makes me want to kvell about his kvelling. His devotion is nothing short of beautiful. Second, he’s childlike, like me, happy to eat cereal for dinner, and he eagerly plays with my eight-year-old son. How could I not kvell over how he lights up my son’s face?

Finally? He really does take me for the hot, overthinking, emotional mess, I can be in real life.

He doesn’t care that I’m domestically, navigationally, and (formerly) romantically challenged! You’d be surprised how many frogs I kissed, who couldn’t stand when I was recognized, and couldn’t deal with how independent I am.

I kvell how he can “handle” me! Not an easy task!

His kvetches? He hates how disorganized I am, which leads me to lose things. He knows not to ask where certain items are because whatever he’s asking for could just as likely be found on my desk, as it could in a kitchen drawer. I do often say, “I know it’s…. in the house!”

Rebecca and Neil with her book “Blissfully Blended Bullshit: The Uncomfortable Truth of Blending Families” | Photo: Courtesy

He kvetches, too, about how forgetful I am. I blame my kids, who taught me to tune out unnecessary noise. So he often asks, “don’t you remember what we talked about last night?” to which I usually respond, “Of course I remember! But, just in case, tell me again?” I don’t have, or use any kind of calendar. I used to be able to remember everything in my head.

Then I had a baby, mid-life, who sucked out my brain cells. Now, I tell my boyfriend important dates, which he’ll diligently put in his calendar, to remind me where and when I need to be.

Last? He kvetches I’m not entirely listening to him, especially when playing on my phone. I am on my phone, unapologetically, a lot. I often have to ask, “What did you just say?

Now his kvells; He kvells about my accomplishments, and he’s read every damn thing I’ve ever written. It’s nice to have a kvelling fan! He kvells about how I make him laugh, with my dark sense of humour.

Finally? He kvells over my “compassion for strangers.” 

I think our kvetches and kvells balance our relationship. Plus, he has never annoyed me for eating an apple, so I can kvell over that too!

Rebecca Eckler is the internationally bestselling author of ten books, including Knocked Up, How to Raise a Boyfriend, and Blissfully Blended Bullshit. She is the Executive Editor of SavvyMom.ca

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Click an icon above to share, email, or save this article

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Click an icon above to share, email, or save this article

Read More

Thank you for choosing TheJ.Ca as your source for Canadian Jewish News.

We do news differently!

Our positioning as a Zionist News Media platform sets us apart from the rest. While other Canadian Jewish media are advocating increasingly biased progressive political and social agendas, TheJ.Ca is providing more and more readers with a welcome alternative and an ideological home.

We revealed the incursion of anti-Israel progressive elements such as IfNotNow into our communities. We have exposed the distorted hateful agenda of the “progressive” left political radicals who brought Linda Sarsour to our cities, and we were first to report on many disturbing incidents of Nazi-based hate towards Jews across Canada.

But we can’t do it alone. We need your HELP!

Our ability to thrive and grow in 2020 and beyond depends on the generosity of committed readers and supporters like you.

Monthly support is a great way to help us sustain our operations. We greatly appreciate any contributions you can make to support Jewish Journalism.

We thank you for your ongoing support.

Happy reading!

Thank you for choosing TheJ.Ca as your source for Canadian Jewish News.

We do news differently!

Our positioning as a Zionist News Media platform sets us apart from the rest. While other Canadian Jewish media are advocating increasingly biased progressive political and social agendas, TheJ.Ca is providing more and more readers with a welcome alternative and an ideological home.

We revealed the incursion of anti-Israel progressive elements such as IfNotNow into our communities. We have exposed the distorted hateful agenda of the “progressive” left political radicals who brought Linda Sarsour to our cities, and we were first to report on many disturbing incidents of Nazi-based hate towards Jews across Canada.

But we can’t do it alone. We need your HELP!

Our ability to thrive and grow in 2020 and beyond depends on the generosity of committed readers and supporters like you.

Monthly support is a great way to help us sustain our operations. We greatly appreciate any contributions you can make to support Jewish Journalism.

We thank you for your ongoing support.

Happy reading!

cOMING SOON…….

Breaking News

Recent

Features

News

Current Events

Opinions

Politics

Religion

Culture

Memoriam and Obituaries

PodcastS

Terms and Conditions

Privacy Policy

About Us

Advertise with us

contact 

Subscribe Now

Receive the latest in community & international Jewish news direct to your inbox

© 2020 THEJ.CA, All Rights Reserved

Terms and Conditions

Privacy Policy

About Us

Advertise with us

contact 

Subscribe Now

Receive the latest in community & international Jewish news direct to your inbox

© 2020 THEJ.CA, All Rights Reserved

Subscribe Now

Receive the latest in community & international Jewish news direct to your inbox

Terms and Conditions

Privacy Policy

About Us

Advertise with us

contact 

© 2020 THEJ.CA, All Rights Reserved